School Lesson: Prudence Had Sex With 21 Men & 3 Women...

Photo/ToddStarnes.com

Photo/ToddStarnes.com

By Todd Starnes

I received an email the other day from one of our readers in Scotland County, Missouri. 

Her daughter came home from school with a jaw-dropping assignment full of sexually suggestive language. The assignment appears to be excerpted from "How to Set a House On Fire," written by Stace Budzko.

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It was a pseudo-word problem about a relationship between a man named Larry and a woman named Prudence. Prudence, as the assignment goes, had sex with 21 men and 3 women and engaged in "heavy petting."

"What percentage of time will Prudence be inhibited in bed with Larry, and consequently fake orgasm to ease his pride?"

A few thoughts, good readers.

First, Prudence does not sound all that prudent. Second, that assignment is definitely inappropriate for a bunch of 16-year-old's in a high school English class.

"This is something I imagine you would see on a coffee table every brothel," the outraged mom told me. 

The mom reached out to the principal at the high school in Scotland County -- and got a bit of a run-around.

"He told me that this teacher was originally a college teacher and he sometimes has trouble differentiating between what is appropriate for a 15 or 16-year-old and a 19 or 20-year-old," she said.

I reached out to Ryan Bergeson, the superintendent of schools, and he seemed genuinely concerned about the assignment and promised to investigate. A few hours later, he returned my call and assured me the assignment was not part of any approved curriculum.

He went on to tell me they took appropriate action with the teacher and promised this would never happen again. Ever. And based on the tone of his voice - I believe him. 

Back when I was in school word problems were not nearly that sexually charged: If Train A is traveling at 80 mph and Train B is traveling at 100 mph, who is riding in the caboose?