Atheists Fear Hotel Bible Might Cause Spontaneous Conversion

By Todd Starnes

The Good Book has been banished from rooms at a hotel operated by Arizona State University.

The religious cleansing of the Thunderbird Executive Inn took place after the Freedom From Religion Foundation complained. It was a story first reported by Billy Hallowell of Deseret News.

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“Providing Bibles to Inn guests sends the message that ASU endorses the religious texts,” attorney Madeline Ziegler wrote to the university.

The FFRF is a group of perpetually offended atheists and agnostic whack-a-doodles from Wisconsin. They are very unpleasant and very litigious people.

“State-run colleges have a constitutional obligation to remain neutral toward religion,” Ziegler wrote. “When a government entity like ASU distributes such material to visitors, it has unconstitutionally entangled itself with a religious message, in this case a Christian message.”

So here’s the back story:

The Thunderbird School of Global Management runs the Thunderbird Executive Inn – and like most hotels across the fruited plain there’s a Gideon Bible on the nightstand inside every hotel room.

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According to the FFRF a hotel employee saw one of the Bibles in a room and became offended. They said the presence of the Bible in the room amounts to proselytizing.

“The Gideon Bible and the Gideon’s efforts to proselytize have frequently brought conflict with non-religious persons and persons from minority faiths,” the attorney wrote.

Perhaps someone should inform the FFRF that merely glancing at the Bible does not cause a person to spontaneously convert.

“It sends the message to non-Christian and non-religious guests that the university expects they should read the Bible, and specifically the version of the Bible provided; the Gideon Bible,” the attorney declared.

Sweet Lord Almighty, folks.

Using that lady attorney’s logic, we would be expected to use conditioner on our hair because the hotel provides a bottle in the bathroom.

Flawed logic aside, the university’s hotel complied with the FFRF’s edict to remove the Good Book.

The Bibles are now safely out of public view -- behind the front counter. The books were not burned nor were they tossed in the garbage.

So to all of you Bible-hating folks at the Freedom From Religion Foundation - y'all sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite.

Well, maybe just a few.