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STARNES: Cracker Barrel’s Fake Meat Sausage Gives Country Folks Indigestion

Todd Starnes

Cracker Barrel has gone woke. 

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The restaurant chain with the rocking chairs out front just rolled out a new item on the menu — something called “Impossible Sausage” – made from plants. 

“Discover new meat frontiers,” the restaurant chain wrote on its Facebook page. “Experience the out of this world flavor of Impossible Sausage Made From Plants.”

Would you eat Cracker Barrel's Fake Meat Sausage?

Nothing says homestyle breakfast like scrambled eggs and sausage made from azalea bushes and ferns.

Cracker Barrel says customers are craving a nutritious, plant-based option. 

“At Cracker Barrel, our all-day, homestyle breakfast menu is a staple that draws enthusiasm from guests of all ages, so we are always exploring opportunities to improve how our guests experience breakfast,” said Cracker Barrel’s Sarah Breymaier told Vegconomist.com.

“Our new breakfast menu innovations provide a personalized experience with delicious breakfast choices to satisfy every taste bud – whether guests are nostalgic for homestyle food, hungry for a nutritious plant-based option or have a craving for a sweet treat. At morning, noon or night, we want guests to enjoy craveable breakfast favorites at a compelling value,” she added.

But my social media feed suggests that the fried chicken crowd is not ready to take the plunge.

Folks are riled up. They say the fake meat goes against Cracker Barrel’s brand. A brand built on fried chicken and sweet tea, not avocado toast and wheat grass.

Comfort food, not health food. 

And I’m fairly certain the average Cracker Barrel customer is not going to sit down for a plate of vegan biscuits with a side of almond milk gravy. 

By the way — there’s a reason why they call fake meat sausage “Impossible.”

It tastes like wet cardboard harvested from an Antifa homeless encampment.

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