Maybe White Folks Should Just Dress Up as Crackers for Halloween?

By Todd Starnes/Twitter

Trick-or-Treaters are having a difficult time finding Halloween costumes that won’t get them in trouble with the identity politics and social justice crowd.

Click here for a free subscription to Todd’s Newsletter – a must-read for conservatives!

Folks can deal with flesh-eating zombies and demon-possessed children. But accusations of cultural appropriation? Well, that’s a whole different story.

Let’s be honest – nobody wants to tangle with a bunch of perpetually-offended liberals who were triggered by a white guy wearing a sombrero. Most folks would rather climb into a storm drain and take their chances with a deranged circus clown.

Two Disney costumes are causing quite a bit of “cultural appropriation and white privilege” controversy this year – Moana, the Polynesian character, and Elsa, from “Frozen.”

“I had some reservations regarding both costume choices…about cultural appropriation and the power/privilege carried by Whiteness, and about Whiteness and standards of beauty,” wrote Sachi Feris on the Raising Race Conscious Children blog.

The blog also posted a guide urging white parents to use Halloween as an opportunity to “dismantle white supremacy.”

“White parents who want to dismantle White supremacy have a special burden to check their entitlement on Halloween – and make sure that their children’s costume choices are not reinforcing a culture of racism,” the bloggers warned. 

In other words, no Colin Kaepernick costumes, kids.

“White people have been dressing up in costumes ‘in good fun’ with little regard to whom they might be offending,” the bloggers wrote.

I think they might be talking about you folks who dressed up as President Trump’s border wall.

The Raising Race Conscious Children bloggers also want moms and dads to use Halloween as an educational opportunity. It’s not just about candy corn and orange marshmallow circus peanuts.

“Halloween is an opportunity to have a conversation with your child about race, power and privilege,” they wrote.

I must confess - it is indeed a burden for us pale faces -- celebrating Halloween without culturally appropriating.

But this year- I may have stumbled upon the foolproof costume. I've decided to dress up in a button down Oxford shirt, with khakis and penny loafers. If anybody asks -- I'm a Cracker.

Click here for an autographed copy of Todd’s new book – “The Deplorables’ Guide to Making America Great Again.”