Hello Americans, I’m Todd Starnes. Stand by for news and commentary next.
Chick-fil-A is testing a new plant-based entree — a slab of breaded cauliflower tucked between two hot buttered buns and garnished with two pickles.
It’s called the “Chick-fil-A Cauliflower Sandwich.”
Chick-fil-A says their fake meat sandwich is the perfect centerpiece for their plant-forward menu.
They plan to test this culinary heresy in Denver and the Carolinas.
“Cauliflower is the hero of our new sandwich, and it was inspired by our original Chick-fil-A Chicken Sandwich,” Leslie Neslage, director of menu and packaging at Chick-fil-A, said in a released statement.
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The sandwich is apparently so bad that the Chick-fil-A cows are picketing some stores with signs that read, “Eat Sumwhere Else.” Well, that’s just an unconfirmed rumor.
“Guests told us they wanted to add more vegetables into their diets, and they wanted a plant-forward entrée that tasted uniquely Chick-fil-A. Our new sandwich is made with the highest quality ingredients and whole vegetables, and we hope it offers customers another reason to dine at Chick-fil-A,” she said.
Well, that’s why Chick-fil-A has a side salad on the menu.
Burger King had it’s Beyond Burger and White Castle served up something called an “Impossible Slider.” Kentucky Fried Chicken tested plant-based chicken nuggets, but they never made it to the menu. And McDonalds concocted something called a McPlant sandwich which was flat-out McNasty.
There’s a reason plant-based grub is called “Impossible” — it’s impossible to swallow.
And let’s be honest — if your daily diet includes shots of wheatgrass and organic soy, there’s a good chance you’re not going to be dining at Chick-fil-A.
What a sad state of affairs at one of our most cherished culinary institutions.
First, they got rid of their chicken salad sandwich. Then, they tossed out the coleslaw and carrot salad. And now, they’re desecrating their sacred restaurants with fake poultry.
It’s turns out the official bird of our Lord may be the anti-chicken.
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