STARNES: If the Woke Mob Cancels Pizza, the Nation Is Doomed

National radio host Todd Starnes slammed Papa John’s for its new “all-toppings, crustless pizza” that has essentially been labeled, “poop in a bowl.”

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Is "pizza in a bowl" disgusting?

Starnes discussed the New York Post story with “Todd Starnes Show” executive producer Grace Baker on Thursday’s program:

Below is the rushed transcript from the Todd Starnes Show:

STARNES: [01:49:03] Grace, I’m curious to get your thoughts on this story. The Internet is now panning Papa John’s all new pizza without a crust. [01:49:13][9.5]

GRACE: [01:49:14] What? [01:49:14][0.0]

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STARNES: [01:49:15] So they’re calling it blank in a bowl. I can’t repeat the words on the air, but poop in a bowl. [01:49:20][5.1]

GRACE: [01:49:20] Okay [01:49:20][0.0]

STARNES: [01:49:23] Pretty much, yeah. So Papa John’s has a brand new all toppings, no crust, pizza. In other words, they take all the stuff that would normally be on a pizza and they would put it in a bowl and send it to you. [01:49:35][12.4]

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GRACE: [01:49:36] Kind of like a taco salad? [01:49:38][2.5]

STARNES: [01:49:39] No, it’s sort of like well, years ago, I don’t know if they still do this, but people wanted like a hamburger with all the toppings, without the bread. [01:49:50][10.9]

GRACE: [01:49:50] I’ve done that before. [01:49:50][0.0]

STARNES: [01:49:51] Okay, that’s Salisbury steak. I mean. [01:49:53][2.1]

GRACE: [01:49:53] Basically. [01:49:53][0.0]

STARNES: [01:49:54] What are you doing? [01:49:54][0.4]

GRACE: [01:49:54] I have done that before. [01:49:55][0.8]

STARNES: [01:49:56] So they put it like in a lettuce wrap, huh? That’s disgusting. [01:49:58][2.4]

GRACE: [01:49:58] I prefer I’ll just take a fork and a knife and just eat it. [01:50:02][3.7]

STARNES: [01:50:02] No, at that point it’s a hamburger steak. [01:50:05][2.4]

GRACE: [01:50:05] Okay, that’s fine. [01:50:06][0.6]

STARNES: [01:50:08] Which you could get at the Piccadilly. [01:50:08][0.0]

GRACE: [01:50:08] Fair enough. [01:50:08][0.3]

STARNES: [01:50:09] Have you been to Piccadilly? [01:50:10][0.8]

GRACE: [01:50:10] No. [01:50:10][0.0]

STARNES: [01:50:11] What?! What? [01:50:12][0.9]

[01:50:12] Isn’t that the place that smells like broccolli or something? [01:50:13][0.2]

STARNES: [01:50:17] What?! No! It’s a southern institution! [01:50:18][1.2]

GRACE: [01:50:19] I swear that place smells like broccoli. [01:50:20][1.3]

STARNES: [01:50:21] That’s fine eating, cafeteria style. [01:50:24][3.0]

GRACE: [01:50:25] Uh, I’ll do Perkins. I’ve told you, I did it in college a lot. Piccadilly is where I drew the line. Just not my kind of thing. [01:50:33][8.0]

STARNES: [01:50:34] You know, if these people screw up pizza, our country’s done. [01:50:38][4.1]

GRACE: [01:50:38] That’s true. [01:50:39][0.3]

STARNES: [01:50:39] That’s all we got left is the pizza. That’s it. You’re gone. [01:50:42][3.4]

GRACE: [01:50:43] Well, here’s the thing at that point. So are they sending you this stuff like pre-cooked? It’s just been, like, cooked in a bowl or not. So then you make your own. [01:50:50][7.4]

STARNES: [01:50:50] It’s like, so, you know, when you get the pizza, sometimes you’ll get a pizza. Yeah. And you’ll try. It’s that first slice and you have to pull it up and lift it and then it all, all the toppings slide off. Yeah. It’s like that happened and they took a spatula and put it in a bowl. [01:51:04][14.0]

GRACE: [01:51:05] No one wants just that. You got to have the bread with it. The bread, the crust is the best part. [01:51:10][5.6]

STARNES: [01:51:11] Have you got to have it, ladies and gentlemen. I mean, you guys have to back us up here at eight four, four, seven four, seven, eight, eight, six, eight. But I’m not buying this. [01:51:19][8.7]

GRACE: [01:51:20] I think we peaked at cheese filled crust and then it was all downhill. [01:51:24][3.9]

STARNES: [01:51:24] Papa John’s is now saying that the nation is going through pizza fatigue. [01:51:29][5.0]

GRACE: [01:51:32] What? I love pizza. I do not have pizza fatigue. [01:51:34][2.3]

STARNES: [01:51:35] Papa John’s says the reason their numbers are dwindling is because you know why their numbers are dwindling. The company went woke and they fired Papa John himself. [01:51:44][9.1]

GRACE: [01:51:45] They did. It’s not Papa John’s anymore. [01:51:46][1.6]

STARNES: [01:51:47] Right. Bring back Papa John and bring back the crust. [01:51:50][2.9]

GRACE: [01:51:51] I don’t think Papa John’s is. See all my friends I oh Papa John’s is the best take out. Eh. There’s so many local spots if I’m going to get a pizza I just. I don’t know. [01:52:00][9.1]

STARNES: [01:52:01] All right, write this down. And I know, you know, maybe we should do a pizza and a segment, but Aldo’s pizza in Memphis, Tennessee, best freaking pizza in America. [01:52:11][10.8]

GRACE: [01:52:12] See, I think it’s good, but I think, again, local. But Memphis Pizza Cafe is the best. But I like the thin crust. I don’t know what it is. [01:52:19][7.1]

STARNES: [01:52:20] I love it, but thin crust is the way to go. [01:52:22][1.8]

GRACE: [01:52:22] Producer Kyle is shaming me. [01:52:23][1.2]

STARNES: [01:52:24] Well, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but Aldo’s is great. Oh, he knows what? [01:52:27][3.6]

GRACE: [01:52:28] This is good. [01:52:28][0.4]

STARNES: [01:52:28] Oh, I like Jamie. Maybe he knows what he’s talking about. [01:52:31][2.2]

GRACE: [01:52:31] Hari. [01:52:31][0.0]

STARNES: [01:52:33] I just. It looks like. And I’m just I’m looking at the bowl here of the meatless or the Crustless Pizza. It looks like somebody threw up in the bowl. [01:52:42][9.2]

GRACE: [01:52:42] That’s what I’m thinking of. Like a dog got a hold of it and tore it up. [01:52:46][3.9]

STARNES: [01:52:47] That’s exactly what it looks like. [01:52:48][1.3]

GRACE: [01:52:49] Yeah. No, not for me. I will skip it and I’ll just go get a regular pizza. They’re running out of ideas. [01:52:53][4.6]

STARNES: [01:52:54] Scott Rodriguez is the company’s senior vice president of Menu Strategy and Innovation. He’s going to be out of jobs here. [01:53:02][7.7]

GRACE: [01:53:02] Yeah, he’s going. [01:53:02][0.5]

STARNES: [01:53:02] To be out of a job here soon. What? Bring back Papa John. Bring back the crust, and I think he’ll be okay. Oh, by the way, they’ve got a lot of people on Twitter are weighing in here, including some guy who’s dressed up like Pizza Hut. Oh, that’s from Spaceballs. [01:53:18][15.8]

GRACE: [01:53:19] Gosh, here’s the thing that they’re not accounting for. People don’t have money to go spend on a bunch of take out pizza. It can get expensive with the delivery fee and everything. [01:53:29][9.7]

STARNES: [01:53:30] Have you noticed on GrubHub that the delivery is almost as much, if not more than the order itself. [01:53:36][6.3]

GRACE: [01:53:37] Or to little, say, you know, 50 cent delivery fee you go to check out and there’s other taxes and fees and it’s like another $10 and you’re like, that happened. [01:53:45][8.4]

STARNES: [01:53:46] I know it. It’s crazy. Plus tip I got like aa5 guys and it was like 20, 20 bucks. I’m like for what. [01:53:53][6.8]

GRACE: [01:53:54] Did you get a bun? [01:53:54][0.4]

STARNES: [01:53:55] I got a but it was very good. All right. I like buns. What can I say? All right. Hey, we got to get out of here. Been a lot of fun today. Great America. This is the Todd Starnes. What’s. [01:53:55][0.0]